


just breathe it in breath it out and keep living

by trilliastra



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Established Relationship, Future Fic, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-09-07 05:30:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8785030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trilliastra/pseuds/trilliastra
Summary: Tsukishima runs a hand through his hair. Are all people in love like this? “Pathetic,” he grunts and the lady walking past him startles.
If only Yamaguchi could see him now, if only he was here.
Why the fuck is Australia so far away?





	

_They don't know._ Tsukishima thinks. _They have no idea. I had no idea either_.

The park is filled with kids. Loud kids, young and small, little girls and boys, happy and laughing and Tsukishima just wants it to stop.

He didn't need to be here. There's a test tomorrow, he should be studying but – but he _can't._

A kid stumbles around with a volley ball, he has freckles and dark hair and he's smiling, he opens his mouths and says 'Tsukki' and it makes him want to cry.

He doesn't though, because it's stupid. Because he misses him but he didn't mean to. Because Yamaguchi will come back in a few months and things will go back to normal and Tsukishima will _live_ again.

  **'The beach is beautiful and I think I saw a shark.'**

  **'Could have been a log.'**

  **'But I'm telling everyone it was a shark.'**

  **'You'll back me up, right?'**

  _God._

 Tsukishima runs a hand through his hair. Are all people in love like this? “Pathetic,” he grunts and the lady walking past him startles.

 If only Yamaguchi could see him now, if only he was _here._

 Why the fuck is Australia so far away?

 –

 “Hey! Pay attention!”

 “Don't mind I think he has some problem.”

 “I thought he was good at volleyball.”

 “I thought he was smart, with the glasses and all.”

 “Do you wanna go out some time?”

 “I think he's a zombie.”

 Well, he might as well be. He can't even remember the last time he slept a full night without waking up from a nightmare. From _the_ nightmare.

 Always the same thing, always Yamaguchi being taken away. Always him leaving.

 He's pretty sure his old teammates are preparing an intervention or at least that's what Hinata was hinting at last time they dragged him to a Karasuno reunion.

 Whatever, he rolls his eyes at the girl smiling at him and she rushes to hide behind her friend. They don't matter.

 –

 “So –” Yamaguchi says their next skype session. He looks more tanned, his smile brighter. Tsukishima wants to kiss him until the world ends, “– Hinata says you've lost weight.”

 “That's a lie.”

 “And Tanaka told me to come back soon. Because he thinks you've became a zombie.”

 “Another lie.”

 Yamaguchi snorts, but when he looks up his eyes are soft. “You know I miss you too, right?”

 He does, of course Tsukishima knows, he can see it. But somehow that only makes things harder.

 “I just –” he starts, sighs, “– never been away from you for so long.”

 Not since they were ten. Not after they started dating. He can't remember what's like to be alone anymore.

 “I know,” Yamaguchi sighs too, “I saw this weird bug yesterday and I turned to show you but you weren't there and I couldn't hold your hand when this spider appeared under my bed last week and –”

 “Tadashi,” Tsukishima cuts his rant, smiles as he knows the name will make him happy, “breathe.”

 Yamaguchi nods, takes a deep breath, “Right, okay.” He closes his eyes. “You should have told me to stay.”

 Tsukishima wanted to. _God knows_ , he thought about it. He saw the envelope and his heart broke and he almost ripped it so shreds. But Yamaguchi needed it, no – he _wanted_ it and Tsukishima may be selfish in many ways but not when it comes to the man he loves.

 “I would never.”

 “I know.” Yamaguchi says. “That makes me love you even more.”

 Tsukishima closes his eyes. “I will try to eat more.”

 “Great.”

 “But –” he smiles when Yamaguchi frowns, “– I have one condition.”

 “What –”

 “Say it,” he pleads, looking down in embarrassment, his voice breaking at the end, “just – please.”

 “Oh.” Yamaguchi's eyes widen, but he soon smiles again. “You're so cute,” Tsukishima is about to argue that _that_ was not what he meant when Yamaguchi moves closer to the camera, smiles even brighter than before and says the one word that always makes Tsukishima's heart beat faster. “Tsukki.”

 –

 There's a postcard waiting for him when he gets to his apartment. It says 'go to the park' and he frowns, it's signed 'from your best friend forever' so he knows Akiteru had something to do with it.

 He considers staying home even though he would probably just spend his afternoon flicking through TV channel after TV channel because he knows Akiteru would get pissed, but then that voice in his head that sounds a lot like Yamaguchi tells him to go, 'have fun' it says. Tsukishima eyes his TV, sighs an annoyed 'impossible' but in the end he decides to go. He was never able to say no to Yamaguchi anyway, imaginary voice or not.

 So he shows up at the park two hours later, lets his brother buy him a hot dog because he thinks it will stop him from pestering him about his weight and pretends to be interested on his new girlfriend. He only rolls his eyes once, when Akiteru tells him he needs to take better care of himself.

 “Don't be stupid.” He says, the 'I have to be here when Yamaguchi comes back' stays in his head. No one needs to know about this side of him, that's for Yamaguchi alone.

 “Mom is worried.” Akiteru says.

 “I'll visit next weekend.” Tsukishima promises and actually means it this time. It's going to make the worried frown Yamaguchi constantly wears on his face when they Skype subside, he thinks.

 “Another month?” Akiteru asks. Tsukishima only nods, takes another bite of the hot dog. “Well, you handled five months, what's another thirty days?”

 “Agony.” He answers.

 Akiteru sighs.

 –

  _They don't know_ . Tsukishima thinks. _They have no idea_.

 There are old people at the airport, kids too. They laugh, they cry and they say goodbye. Tsukishima brings the hand not holding his cup of coffee to his chest, feels stupid and happy and afraid. Six months passed, he dreamed about this moment many times and yet he's scared of what's to come, of things that changed and things that stayed the same. Scared for _them._

 He finally looks up when a girl bumps into him and his coffee spills all over the floor and his shoes. She starts to apologize, offers to buy him another coffee but at this point he's not paying attention anymore. Because Yamaguchi is here.

 Tsukishima breathes.

 –

 “I'm never letting you go again.” He whispers against Yamaguchi's neck, thinks they probably should stop hugging now, but when his boyfriend only holds him tighter, Tsukishima closes his eyes and keeps breathing him in.

 “I missed you, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi says. The nickname makes Tsukishima's heart skip a beat, or maybe it's having his hands on him again. Or maybe both. “Missed you so much.”

 “I wanna fuck you until you can't walk.” He confesses, knows it will make Yamaguchi blush. “Wanna hear you scream.”

 When Yamaguchi pulls back, his face is red – as predicted – but he's smiling too and Tsukishima feels more alive than ever.

 –

 “Tsukki.” Yamaguchi screams.

 “Fuck.” Tsukishima screams too.

 –

  _They don't know._ Tsukishima thinks as he walks to his classroom the next Monday, Yamaguchi next to him. _And they will never know_.

 Tadashi is _his_ and his alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey hey, this is me officially joining the club.  
> Did I fuck it up? I hope I didn't. Oops?
> 
> Here's my [tumblr](http://www.brookesbutler.tumblr.com). Sometimes I gif stuff (very badly) and complain about life.


End file.
